"The LORD is thy keeper" (Psalm 121:5a).
I'll never forget the day my son almost drowned. As I sat on the pool's edge after giving my son a swimming lesson, I watched as he played with his homeschooling friends. Since several lifeguards were on duty and the water was only waist-deep, I decided to close my weary eyes and rest for just a moment. Presuming my son was perfectly safe, even though he had only just started to learn how to swim, I allowed myself to drift off.
Suddenly, I heard someone shout in a panicked voice. Looking up and quickly scanning the water, I wasn't able to locate my son anywhere in the pool. Just as I stood up to look further, I saw an older boy pull my son from the pool's deep end. Coughing and choking, he was fighting to breathe. Minutes later, after we were sure he was all right, he told me the whole story: "Mom, I was just trying to practice my bouncing like you taught me. I guess I just bounced too hard and went right into the deep water." I'm not sure who was more frightened, my son or me, and for the next several days, I mentally punished myself as I considered what could have happened.
It's always tragic when young children are injured in an accident. Recorded in 2 Samuel 4:4 is the story of how Mephibosheth, the five-year-old son of Jonathan, was crippled in both his feet. In her hurry to flee after receiving the news of King Saul and Jonathan's death, Mephibosheth's nurse dropped him. Understandably, she was probably worried the child would be killed by the succeeding king, but her haste left this young boy lame for his entire life. However, God mercifully provided for Mephibosheth's needs years later when He moved King David to keep his covenant with his friend Jonathan (1 Samuel 20:15-17).
If you've had a tragedy in your home and struggle with forgiving yourself, God knows your pain. Being a homeschooling parent doesn't mean you can protect your child from every physical bump and bruise. Accidents happen, and many times there aren't any good reasons or answers to explain them. Only God knows what each day will bring, but praise the Lord that even when bad things happen, He is still able to turn them around for good. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).
Lord, I can't see the good in this situation right now, and I feel like it's all my fault. Please, help me to forgive myself and trust that somehow, You will make sense of this problem. In Jesus' name, Amen.