Have You Been Mom-Shamed?

A recent study revealed that more than 60% of mothers say they’ve experienced mom-shaming or the public criticism of parenting choices.

According to a 2017 C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health, discipline is the most common topic that led to mom-shaming. In responses from 475 mothers with children under the age of five, seven in ten women said that their methods of discipline drew criticism, while nutrition, sleep, breastfeeding, and safety rounded out the top five.

“Our findings tap into the tensions moms face when parenting advice leads to more stress than reassurance and makes them feel more criticized than supported,” poll co-director Sarah Clark said in a University of Michigan Health System article. “Unsolicited advice…can be perceived as meaning she’s not doing a good job as a mother. That can be hurtful.”

Sadly, the poll found that family members were the most guilty of providing unwanted criticism. Nearly four in ten mothers surveyed mentioned their own parents as being critical (37%), followed closely by the child’s other parent at 36% and in-laws at 31%.

“Family members should respect that mothers of young children may have more updated information about child health and safety,” Clark said, “and ‘what we used to do’ may no longer be the best advice.”

While two-thirds of the women felt more strongly that they were making the right parenting choices because of their public shaming, 37% of moms admitted to making a change in the way they parent. In addition, popular responses to the incidents included conducting additional information on the topic, asking a health care provider for help, or simply avoiding people who are critical as much as possible.

“It’s unfortunate when a mother feels criticized to the point where she limits the amount of time she and her child will spend with a family member or friend,” said Clark. “To guard against that situation, advice to mothers of young children should be given with empathy and encouragement.”