How to Build Self-Esteem without Creating a Narcissist

In an attempt to get to the root of what creates a narcissist, a person who overly admires his own accomplishments and attributes, a recent study has concluded that parents who overvalue their children are to blame.

Researchers at the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands and the Ohio State University studied over 500 children ages 7-11 and their parents. A series of surveys was conducted over a two-year period asking how much they agreed with a variety of statements like, “My child is a great example,” or how much they knew about historical topics.

“Overvaluing parents tended to claim that their child had knowledge of many different topics—even…nonexistent ones,” said researcher Eddie Brummelman as reported by Newsweek.

The study was also quick to point out that parental warmth was not related to narcissism. In fact, parental love was cited as a key to promoting healthy self-confidence in children.

“Here’s another way to think about it,” wrote Francie Diep in Business Insider. “On surveys, kids with high self-esteem agree with statements like ‘I am happy with myself as a person’ and ‘I like the kind of person I am.’ Kids with narcissism agree with ‘I like to think about how incredibly nice I am’ and ‘Kids like me deserve something extra.’”

However, in a culture obsessed with selfies and social media updates about the minute details of our lives, how can parents successfully build their child’s self-esteem without creating a narcissist? Mackenzie Dawson, a contributing editor to the New York Post, offers these 9 easy steps:

1. Say no to your children.
2. Teach them basic manners.
3. Teach them how to manage frustration.
4. Only look in your neighbor’s bowl to make sure he has enough.
5. Be kind.
6. Travel with them.
7. Know the difference between love and approval.
8. Read to them.
9. Run errands with them.

What other tips do you have to avoid raising a self-centered child?