"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not" (Jeremiah 33:3).
What was I thinking? In a few short weeks, I was going to be teaching my two oldest children at home. As I opened the boxes of homeschool curriculum that had just come in the mail, I reflected on my commitment. Already, the negative feedback from family and friends had caused me to second guess my decision, and I wondered if it was too late to get out. Sure, I had taught my children their alphabet and numbers, but teaching them to read and learn mathematics was a whole new ballgame. Could I really do this? What if I really made a mess of things or couldn't stand the pressure of being home 24/7? As I struggled with these thoughts and others, I took my fears to the Lord and asked, "Am I really supposed to be homeschooling my children, or did I just imagine all this in a weak emotional moment?"
The story of Gideon became a comfort to me as I wrestled with the answer to this question. Like me, Gideon was unsure of God's leading and prayed, "If thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said, Behold, I will put a fleece of wool in the floor; and if the dew be on the fleece only, and it be dry upon all the earth beside, then shall I know that thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said" (Judges 6:36b-37). God graciously answered Gideon's prayer and went one step further when Gideon asked for the reverse scenario to take place with the fleece the following day.
Encouraged by Gideon's story, I placed my own fleece on the ground to confirm God's desire for me to homeschool my children. Asking for specific encouragement, God first led me to His Word in Deuteronomy 6:6-7. Feeling empowered by its truth and the Holy Spirit, my final confirmation came that evening as I tucked my children into bed. Grabbing me tightly around the neck and placing a big kiss on my cheek, my children said, "Thanks for teaching us, Mommy. We're going to have so much fun!" And guess what happened? For the next 25 years, we did!
Lord Jesus, thank You for being a loving God who answers me when I pray. Please, strengthen me now to give my children the best homeschool education and always come to You when life makes me confused and uncertain. In Jesus' name, Amen.