The Truth of the Matter

OK, so here it is, straight up. If you homeschool your child, there is no 100% money-back guarantee he will turn out to be a straight "A" student with prestigious colleges knocking on his door when he's finished with high school. That scenario could happen, but it might not. As much as you want the best this world has to offer for your child, God may have something different planned for his life. Your child could go to the mission field or work at an ordinary job living a faithful, God-honoring life in his home and community.

I had over-exaggerated expectations for my children's futures until my husband rebuked me one day while homeschooling. "Why are you pushing so hard?" he asked. "What if the girls just want to be stay-at-home moms like you? Is that so bad?" As I began to think about my husband's question, I realized that my dreams for my children and God's dreams for them were two different things. I wanted them to be intelligent and successful, but God's main concern was that they be obedient and Christ-like. My foolish pride had taken me off God's straight and narrow homeschooling path for my children's futures.

How do you envision your child's life at the end of his homeschooling days? Are you teaching him to follow God's will for his future or yours? A good way to double-check is to ask yourself this question: "Is my child more concerned about pleasing me and trying to live up to my expectations or God's?" Be careful that your dreams for your child are not leading him off God's path for his life. "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Lord, help me to see my child's future as You do and give me wisdom to lead him in the direction You seek. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Comments(25 comments)

New comments are currently disabled, be sure to check back later.

TAMA C 02/28/2009 10:12:05

I was convicted of this very thing when a friend told me her goal was for her children to be "Heaven bound, not Harvard bound"! Amen!

ELIZABETH J 02/28/2010 20:56:26

I just joked tonight after church about working my kids like borrowed mules, when another mother asked if we would call our homeschool off because of the snow we are expecting. What I said was meant to be in good humor but the truth is that we rarely ever take breaks for anything. I even schooled them yesterday (Saturday) because their Dad worked and I figured we would too. I do need to slow down, they are NOT horses training for the Kentucky Derby and I should stop making them feel like they are. I'm thining we might take the day off tomorrow and go on a field trip. And maybe this week I will strive to not stress over every detail and just make sure they enjoy learning as much as I enjoy teaching. thnx for the post!!!

KIMBERLY M 03/02/2010 12:05:56

I just said to my Mom last night that too many people are driven by the desires of the world (including my husband) - to get into a good college, to get a high paying or prestigious job, to have the "right" social group - but I am not pushing my children toward that kind of success. I want them to pursue their dreams and will support them, but I teach them that the most important thing is to be a living example of God's love and mercy, and surrounding themselves with people and pursuits that support living a Christian lifestyle. It is all a matter of perspective (and values).

SUSAN M 02/28/2011 06:54:40

This is a great post. One concern though is the phrase "just a stay at home mom like you." "Just?" We need to be careful not to let our girls think it is a "just" job. It is a high calling. Thanks for the reminder to make God's values the goal and not our own.

CYNTHIA W 02/28/2011 07:19:10

This is now the third time in two days I have been reminded (reprimanded by God?) to put Him first with my children. I have a sophomore and I have been telling him he needs to think about what he wants to study and what he wants to be. Last night, I apologized and told him he needs to ask God what HE wants him to do and be. Thanks for a great reminder.

SUSAN H 02/28/2011 07:24:16

It is a high calling...and one being ignored by many today. For a wonderful study on this for women in your church...or just personally, get "The New Eve..5 Guiding Lights for Authentic Womanhood in the 21st Century" (a six lesson studybased on God's Word) by Dr. Robert Lewis, founder of Men's Fraternity. He takes you through the history of how our country has changed in this regard over the years, and how this has affected our society. We must address this with our girls "for a biblical definition of womanhood that makes all the difference".

S. DAWN C 02/28/2011 08:08:43

I'm agreeing with Susan M and concern about "just a stay at home mom like you." I personally think I have the most important job out of anyone, since it's my God given responsibility to raise them in the way they should go "and when he is old, he will not depart from it." As for never taking breaks, my kids homeschool six days a week, but only for 2-3 hours a day. I've found it to make my house a lot more manageable when every day is just about the same. One of my children is vastly behind his age group in math, and he also does math on Sunday after church. I don't see a huge problem with it, because I'm not driving them "like mules" as another mother said :)

SHAANA A 02/28/2011 08:25:37

We also homeschool 6 days a week, for just a few hours a day :) It gives my daughter and I time to "hang out" before I go to bed (because I work nights 4 days a week) and she gets a sense of accomplishment of finishing her assignments (sometimes early) and getting to spend some extra time with mom on bible study in the afternoon. I was falling away from bible study with my job and an since decided to quit because God was telling me exactly what this is. I'm pushing her too hard when I'm teaching and I was turning from my own calling, which was not a very good example to her on how to be obedient to Christ.

JEANETTE A 02/28/2011 09:23:36

I really think that we need to step back and look at what God has called us to do,, Yes, education is important, but we are told to build our treasure up in heaven where it won't be destroyed.. Eventually, we all are going to answer to God one way or another and I want my children to reverence and love God more than I want them to get a degree and become "successful" according to the worlds standards. When I was called to homeschool and I had the "talk" with God, I was hesitant because I did't see me doing that, I told him no, I can't teach my children are you sure God, He told me it is your responsibility to teach them my ways, Jenny, no teacher will ever teach them about me the way I want you too... At the end of the day it's about my children learning discipline whether in education or in ministry, learning to love others and most importantly loving and having a relationship with the one who created them...

BRENNA H 02/28/2011 09:52:08

I also fell into the trap of if the girls can do it at one level, make it harder. It provided much stress and frustration. I went to God and gave him my need to push the girls and found a curriculum that gives us all space. I pray everyday that our school will be filled with more of Him and less of me. It has made a world of difference. I need to remember that since God has called us on this path, He alone holds the map for our future. I cannot worry about college at the risk of making our life now so hard. Thank you for being a reminder in my life to look up rather than forward. We serve an awesome God. Peace and prayers, Brenna

NICOLE R 02/28/2011 11:10:22

I had a terrible problem with pushing my boys and made a promise to myself that this school year would be different. The purpose of having them at home is so we can enjoy each other. We wanted the boys to know each other on a level that would be made impossible in conventional school. We also wanted to know our children in a way most parents don't know their children because of time contraints. I have been a full time student myself for many years and actually started law school this year, but I have learned that it's okay if all the Saxon doesn't get finished. It's not indicative of my capibilities as a mother if Science remains unopened one day. My second born was having difficulities with reading last year and my husband pressured me to push him. Pushing is counter-productive in some areas of life, patience is the better approach sometimes. My son was reading to my husband last night and my husband was astonished at how well he's reading. Homeschooling should produce well-rounded children that can compete intellectually with others, but it should be fun and an everyday blessing too!!

KARRIE P 03/01/2011 01:43:36

It's comforting to know that all you homeschooling mom's are as "normal" as I am and struggle in the same ways!! It's easy to think that every one has it all together. I want my kids to know Christ in a real, authentic, personal way. Period. I want them to see that the Bible touches EVERY aspect of their lives and that obedience to the Lord flows from a heart of love. I want them to see that lived out in our home. I want them to live lives that gloify him and look vastly diifferent than the worlds. Yes, I want them to read, write and know how to count (at least ;)) but MOSTLY in all things I want them to honor the One who knit them together in my womb! Because the TRUTH is that God will not care what college you attended or how much money you made, he'll only want to know that you have a personal relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ.

KAREN G 02/28/2012 03:56:23

I have 5 children. 4 are adults and God did not call me to homeschool them. He did tell me to homeschool number 5 who is 9. All children are so different, and I am so grateful to be able to homeschool my 9 year old. My oldest child only completed one year of college. She is married, works for the FAA and has just self published her first book. Number two is married, is the Children's Ministry Director for a non profit organization who provides a home and support to homeless women and their children and pregnant with her first baby. Number 3 is a stay at home mom married to a Youth/Music Pastor and pregnant with her 2nd baby. Both number 2 and 3 graduated from college, (#2 - Bible degree, #3 - biology degree), Number 4 will graduate this year from college with a Criminal Justice degree and is applying to be a police officer. I am proud of all 4 of them! Number 5, he wants to be a Navy Seal, or maybe a wrestler, and insists he will never get married! Every child has different interests and different needs and looking back it is so easy to see. I am just enjoying every moment, even the bad days that I have with my last son.

AUDRA K 02/28/2012 06:54:44

My greatest desire is for my girls to choose to be stay at home homeschool moms. I tell them it's the most wonderful and important job God could call them to do. I want them to be family minded not career driven. If they want to go to Bible college or a trade school until God brings them the right man to marry that is fine with me. I love the quote "heaven bound, not Harvard bound. I love it!! Thanks for the great reminder. I love these devotions.

LISA A 02/28/2012 07:13:57

THis is what I needed today. Thank you YHWH for speaking to me through this devotional! I hear you and obey.

MIA M 02/28/2012 08:13:18

Okay Lord I hear you . I too enjoy this devotional, they always seem to be on what I'm going thru or what I'm questioning.

TABITHA J 02/28/2012 09:23:44

I hope that when I have kids that they will learn the skills of household management and life skills: cooking, cleaning, fiances, taking care of themselves. If they could not be able to do them, then they should not be ready to be on their own. No matter what is God's calling for them, I will support them.

KATHY S 02/28/2012 10:14:48

This touched my heart today, as I have no expectations for my son to be a "Harvard" attendee, ro a "Rocket scientist". He is a "Special" child, but does well with computors. It is very well possible, he may never be able to live on his own. In the mean time, I teach him how very important it is to depend on Jesus for everything. Learing How to "wash the towels in the washing machine", is important. Putting his own outfits together in the morning. Making a boxed meal in the microwave (and one day I hope we can progress to some actual cooking on the stove, or in the convection oven.) How to deal with people who aren't nice. How to tell me about Jesus as I tell him, which one day will mean he can share Jesus with other people. I never say grades like A, B, or C's to him. It's always "excellent job" Very good job" or "Redo". In our case, that works so much better. He does love Jesus, so very much. And whatever God has planned for him, will be. I'd actually rather he be in computor work out of the home, and maybe working with our Pastor's one day, maybe as an assistant, or just voulenteering with them. I guess when you have children with no disabilities you look at things differently. And that's very normal. Knowing my child's linitations let's me see things differently. I do have expectations that he do his work the very best that he can. That he Love Jesus, and never ever give his faith in God up for any reason. I was just so glad to read this morning the devotional. It's an affirmation to me that how I perceive my child's learning is o.k., and that as always, Jesus is #1, And in control, no matter what we feel our children might or should be.

DAVID C 02/28/2012 10:35:18

(by Jennifer) After many years of homeschooling I finally got the lesson that the school lessons are less important than the lessons in godliness. While that is not an excuse to be lazy, it does give us permission to prioritize character building. I've also learned that you cannot teach everything, so only teach what God wants you too. It is a fallacy of our society that eduation is everything. It is also a fallacy that good learning only happens in the classroom. Let the little ones (especially) have time to play and explore. The experiences they have will give context to the bookwork. School is only one part of life. Let your children have more to life. If it is insecurity that leads you to overachieve (proving yourself), take it to Jesus and trust Him for the results of your homeschooling. God bless.

JACI B 02/28/2012 21:31:45

As of tomorrow I will no longer be home schooling a pair of 14 y/o twins near my home. I was being paid for the tme spent with them but the father just lost his second job in 4 months. I am owed a considerable amount at this time and I felt that the longer this continues the furher behind they will get. I don't want to quit because they are making great progress with me. My heart hurts because of this decision. And the problem I am wrestling with is if I m putting too much concern on the income portion and not enough on the eduction portion. I feel as if I am wrestling with God about this. Any Ideas?

KATHY S 02/29/2012 09:11:09

To: Jaci B Maybe you could Teach their Father or their Mother how to Homeschool their twins. The Father is off work, it would be putting his time to good use. That way, you wouldn\'t lose any further pay, you would be doing something good for the twins and their parents, and it would make you avaviable to take in other children to homescool and make some money again. Actually, years back when I asked my friend who was homeschooling her own children at the time, to teach my son, she said she couldn\'t because it had to be the parent, of the child, teaching the child. Unless she figured she had 7 of her own to teach already and adding another woul\'ve been too much! lol) Or that could just be a law in the State I live in, I don\'t know about other States.

SUZANNE CARRIER 02/28/2013 11:48:27

As parents, WE have a will for our child's life. OUR CHILD has a will for his/her life, the RELATIVES have a will and GOD has a will for their lives. Let us not be too controlling in this area but approach it with much prayer and intercession. God has promised to do exceeding abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine when our hearts are submitted to Him. We defile our homeschooling efforts by our own dreams and sick control. Let go and let God. I pushed my daughter all her life to be college bound.She went to a private college and withdrew after one semester citing there was too much Humanism. Now she is married to a wonderful man and is a stay-at-home mother...thinking of homeschooling my grandson!! What a blessing to have your grandchldren never go to public school. And she is becoming conformed to the image of Christ. "He who trusts in the Lord will never be disappointed"

Tammy Pridmore 02/28/2013 12:58:19

Thank you so much for this article! I am really enjoying these lately. God spoke to me about this one day after a difficult day. I was talking with another mom who home schools and she said, " You know what? I've decided if my kids leave my house knowing God then I've done my job as a parent. Everything else is just icing on the cake" That statement really spoke to my heart, and reinforced what God had already dealt with me about. I always knew I would be a stay at home mom and I love it. I woke up this morning with a tune in my mind and it took me a minute to figure out which song it was. It is a song by Bill and Gloria Gather- "We Have This Moment". "We have this moment to hold in our hands And to watch as it slips through our fingers like sand. Yesterday's gone and tomorrow may never be But we have this moment today". How true is that? I know how true that is on a couple of levels, one being that we also have kids who are grown and still home school our son who is 13. We need to enjoy and value EVERY second we get to spend with our families. To the lady who feels she is wrestling with God as to whether she should continue to school the kids whose dad lost his job... Ask God and follow His leading. :)

TASHEIKA BARNES 02/28/2013 14:32:49

Ladies calm down! it doesn't say "just a stay at home mom" the words actually says "What if the girls JUST WANT to be stay-at-home moms like you? Know your calling and Who called you, be confident in your calling, and stop trying to always prove a point about what you know you have been called to do.

Kristie Wright 02/28/2013 16:34:05

I would definitely have to agree with SUSAN M. A housewife is not just a job. It is a very high calling. I am a student that just graduated from high school and I was homeschooled my whole life. My mother has always been there for my two brothers and I, because she was a housewife. I as well have a calling to be a housewife, because I want to be there for my future husband and children. Thank you so much for these posts. They truly are a blessing!

Want more information?

We're available right now!

Call 1-800-622-3070