Till Homeschooling Do Us Part
Posted in Homeschool View on Thursday, May 3, 2012
Most mothers seem to understand the need to homeschool their children sooner than dads. Perhaps our nurturing nature or sensitive awareness allows the Holy Spirit to convict us that our children would best learn at home. However, what do you do when your husband doesn't want to homeschool and you do? Start with these four guidelines:
1. Pray and trust God to reveal the same burden to him as He did to you. Much of married life is God bringing two people together on the same page. Trust that God is going to show you and your husband the same thing. God is able, but you are not. Understanding this truth will make you and your husband's relationship stronger and also give you the strength you need to be an effective homeschool teacher.
2. Find the root of his reasoning and talk about it. Your husband's reluctance may stem from a variety of reasons. He may even share some of the same doubts as you, including questions like
-Will I have to give up all my free time and hobbies?
-Will I have time to spend alone with my wife?
-Do I have what it takes to make this commitment?
Your husband may also be having trouble with the idea his son or daughter will not be the sports hero in school. He may feel that they will be less popular as a result of homeschooling. Dads love to be proud of their children and brag about their accomplishments.
3. Provide information and resources for your husband on homeschooling, as well as testimonials from other homeschooling dads. Most men need facts to help with their decision making. Show him how you would schedule your day, what curriculum you would use, and how you would keep records.
4. Be prepared to accept your husband's decision if he says no. Even if you can't reach an agreement about teaching your children at home, you can diligently work with your children on their homework while they attend school. Get involved in school boards and PTA's, volunteer in the classroom or on field trips, and build a relationship with your child's teacher. If your children attend public school, you can teach a Bible course at home to incorporate godly teaching into their studies.
Whatever the concern that's causing your husband to be wary of homeschooling, you need to talk in a calm and undemanding way. Remember the truths of 1 Peter 3:1 and let your godly behavior win him over. None of us likes change, but God can win your husband's heart if you give God time.
Comments(4 comments)
RUSS P 05/03/2012 07:59:52
In our families case it was the father who slowly won over the wife to choose homeschooling and who primarily teaches our son. People need time to choose something different than they had for their child and when they truly love that child the choice becomes an easy one.
DEBORAH C 05/03/2012 11:19:27
The assumption here is that of course it\'s God\'s will for that family to homeschool. It may just not be God\'s will in that situation too. There are many ways to skin a cat... It is vitally important that the wife does not go around thinking that because she wants to homeschool and the husband doesn\'t that she holds the spiritual high ground. It might not be the case.
I do homeschool with my husband\'s blessing. In the past we have used public school and a Christian school for particular reasons. God has used all of the settings to teach and train our boys. I have to say that one and a half years into homeschooling and all of the hypothetical questions raised are totally valid and I know I\'m not supposed to say that but it\'s true. I also know that homeschooling is what we\'re called to at the moment so I have to leave those questions aside, trusting God to fill those very empty gaps.
ANGIE T 05/03/2012 11:20:17
My husband teaches our daughter in the mornings (I work) and I pick up the rest at night (while he works). It took a bit to win him over, but we both know we\'ve made the right decision for her.
JIM L 05/03/2012 23:08:09
I think the writer\'s heart is probably in the right place but:
1. It feels very much like an assault on me as a man as \"less than\".
\"Mother\" is used in the article with \"dads\", why not use Fathers (it just seems more respectful). It just seems men are not on equal footing with this writer. That sentence put me on the defensive, then,
2. \"Most mothers seem to understand\"- \"sooner than dads\"
If we can understand it takes us much longer to catch on.
3. \" Perhaps our nurturing nature or sensitive awareness allows the Holy Spirit to convict us that our children would best learn at home\".
Seems very insensitive and judgmental, at best.
I totally agree with praying and trusting God to show you and your Husband the right thing. God is able to change either Parent. Understanding this truth will make your relationship stronger and give you the strength to be an effective parenting team.
2. Find the root of your own reasoning and talk about it things with an openness, honesty and love that will show care for both your Spouse and the Children.
As a Father I am proud of my Children and love to see them accomplish things. But I think it wrong of either sex to brag about their children. I think
I know enough Hockey Moms, that bragging is a shared characteristic of both sexes and possibly, dare I say, the women are more vocal than the men.
I do like facts to help with decision making. It is good to know how you would schedule your day, what curriculum you would use, and how you would keep records.
Be prepared to accept your husband\'s decision if he says no. It may be what God truly wants! Be in prayer mostly about changing your heart. It is a win/win
situation when you seek God\'s will, respect your Spouse and united team when taking on the task of being both your Child\'s Teacher and Parent.