Too Much Love

Every morning I wondered what new discoveries laid ahead for my children as we homeschooled. Although I had the day's schedule planned, God always seemed to lead with His divine lessons. As my son and I walked to the barn for chores one spring morning, we noticed several cocoons hidden beneath the boards on the door. The cocoons were large, and as we examined one of them more closely, we saw a slight movement. Slowly, the cocoon began to crack open, and we could see something struggling to get out. "Mom, what is it?" cried my son. "Let's cut the rest of the cocoon, so it can get out!"

"No, honey," I replied. "You don't want to do that. If we interfere, the creature inside will be hurt. We have to let it struggle on its own." Postponing my scheduled lessons, we sat and observed the beginning of this new life. Over an hour went by as we watched it emerge from its winter home. Still unsure what exactly was inside, we were totally surprised when the creature burst through the cocoon's covering. There, in all its glory, was a huge cecropia moth! We watched as the moth vibrated its velvety red and brown wings in the sun. The five-inch wingspan was impressive, and the whole scene was a breathtaking sight that my young son would never forget.

I know my son learned a valuable science lesson that day, but I learned a valuable lesson, too. As I watched the struggling moth, I understood how my past actions of motherly love had interfered with our homeschooling. I realized that I needed to be firm and expect my children to do their own schoolwork without asking for help on every question.

Do you ever find yourself trying to help your children more than you should? Your children's education can suffer if you don't learn to balance the dual role you play as teacher and parent. Spelling out every answer will be detrimental to the development of their reasoning and thinking processes. Be careful. Don't destroy the new life God is using you to shape. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

Lord Jesus, thank You for the privilege of teaching my children. Show me how to educate them with a healthy balance of love and discipline and not remove the struggles that will cause them to grow in knowledge. In Your name, Amen.

Comments(13 comments)

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LAURA G 04/11/2009 07:18:29


MELODY E 04/19/2009 09:37:14

This is a great blog. It's sad to see the parents coddling their children and then when the children grow up they're helpless to survive without assistance or the continued coddling. A great lesson for us all.

THERESA C 04/09/2010 07:21:17

Standing in our school room with big tears rolling down my face I have just stated this to my 13yr old son 2 weeks ago. We can't keep holding their hand. There comes a time when we have to let go and let them take up the responsibility and as I told him "hold their own hand" It is hard to let go when their whole life you have done everything for them. But yes, it will hurt them in the end and I saw this coming thanks to God. Last night he said as I was tucking "Thank you Mom. I am learning responsibility now. I just wanted you to know that" I walked away saying "Thank you Lord" Thank you for this article. It is another assurance that I did the right thing for him.

CATHY B 04/09/2010 11:58:06

Great devotion. As I am preparing a course of study for my oldest, who begins his high school level course work next year, I was encouraged by this timely reminder. I prayerfully and expectantly look forward to seeing the beautiful creature the Lord will mold and develop as we continue in this homeschooling journey. Thank you!!

TONYA G 04/09/2011 04:54:33

Beautiful story! I feel affirmed in advice I was given or rather advice I heard at a meeting. \"Don\'t spoon feed your children when they can feed themselves.\"

MARY C 04/09/2011 05:04:31

I really needed this today - as I work on my lesson plan for my eldest son\'s first research paper/report. I need to delegate not do. Thanks for the support.

HEATHER B 04/09/2011 05:26:10

Heather B I too needed to hear this one. Thanks.

CARIN M 04/09/2011 07:10:54

Perfect Timing! This was exactly what I was thinking about this morning and yesterday regarding my children. They are young (7,5,4,2); but even at these ages I could be giving them far more responsibility than I do. Thank you!

LAURA C 04/09/2011 14:42:57

My son is on his first boy scout weekend campout, just texted me to come get him after a difficult hike and this was a great read!!

KELLE F 04/14/2011 21:29:13

I was just thinking today I was doing too much with my son who is 9. We are new to homeschooling. He usually does his math on his own, today I spent two hours going over each question... he shared later he didnt want to do the work. I needed to hear this.,. I don\'t want to be coddling him. thnks

KATHY S 04/09/2012 07:18:26

Excellent example of how we can disturb our childrens growth. This is something I really struggle with. However, my son has autism, so, It has been hard for me to know when to keep helping, and when to let go. My son has actually has been the one helping me with that. When I help with certain subjects or things, sometimes he\'ll say \"I can do that Mom\", and he\'s right he can. other times he needs my help. I guess I\'ll have to keep this up in prayer, and ask God for guidance. I know that most of the time parents can put a age number on when their child should be doing a certain task, like when a baby turns one year old, everyone expects that the baby should be walking then or shortly after. I have found that with my son, nothing was exactly as it was expected to be. When we had snow this year, he grabbed the broom to help sweep the snow off the steps on our way out, I watched him as he tried so hard to control the broom and make it do what he wanted, he finally said,\" I just can\'t do this right, I don\'t know why\", I just said \"that\'s o.k, we\'ll just keep trying\". He\'s just turned 13, so it would seem as though this would be an easy task. But, he can do other things really well, he\'s excellent on the computor. He\'s learned how to do some laundry, and can make a microwave meal or a sandwich. I guess I\'ll just keep trying different things and see how it goes, letting my son tell me what he can or cannot do on his own, also asking for God\'s guidance in when I need a gentle \"push\". I do want him to be as self sufficient as he can be, I\'m not sure what that will be, I don\'t know that he will ever be able to drive a car or live on his own, maybe he will, I guess we\'ll know when the time is right. Have a Blessed day!

TRACEY DIAZ 04/09/2013 12:56:48

Amen and so much needed. I know that any interference from me will only hinder their independence. Thank you!

TRACEY DIAZ 04/09/2013 12:57:04

Amen and so much needed. I know that any interference from me will only hinder their independence. Thank you!

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