Posted in Daily Focus on Monday, August 11, 2014
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” (Proverbs 14:1).
As homeschooling mothers, we hold within our hands the power to create a wonderful school day or a horrible one. Our attitude can dictate a day filled with joy or one filled with tense anxiety. In Proverbs 6:19, the Lord says that strife is one of the seven things He hates. Strife can develop from many situations, including heated debates and unresolved arguments with your husband. Left unchecked, marital strife can cause you to be abrupt and short with your children, and if you aren't careful, seeds of anger, bitterness, and hate could be planted in your children and ultimately destroy your home.
God’s answer to our selfish, “I’m not wrong, so I don’t need to say I’m sorry” attitude is found in Ephesians 4:26-27: “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.” God has more than one reason for you not to be at odds with your husband. Your relationship to God Himself will be broken, your relationship to your husband will be hindered, and your relationship to your children will be damaged.
Is there strife in your home today? Are you the one allowing it to perpetuate? Don’t give place to the devil whose goal is to destroy your homeschool and your family. Be reconciled before the sun goes down tonight and seek forgiveness from the Lord and your mate. Don’t be like the woman who tears down her own house!
Lord, forgive me for allowing bad feelings to continue between my husband and me. I know You hate strife, and only in Your strength can I forgive. I want to start again today to build our home Your way. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
NAOMI R 08/11/2008 05:42:19
Thank you. What a great reminder. I'm glad that we were told to exort. It is also a good idea to find a homeschool mom "buddy" to pray with and stay somewhat accountable to. You don't need to husband bash. It just helps sometimes to find someone to be a sister in Christ, to pray and encourage. Thanks again for the reminder.
TAMMY K 08/11/2009 08:44:56
Strife with a spouse can definately ruin a day. Children are often the innocent that get the worst of it. To put your anger away keeps an open relationship with the Lord and your children. However you need to be prepared to go awhile before what ever is wrong with the marital relationship gets taken care of. Sometimes constant submission of self encourages continued bad behaviour in others since they are not aware of your feelings, so remember to talk to your spouse when problems arise and pray that everyone's heart is changed rather than sweep it under the carpet.
STACEY T 08/11/2009 18:25:21
What a wonderful reminder of the many blessings that come with being submissive to your husband and ultimately your home. It was shared with me that when a Daddy comes home and has had a hard day the family can still press on to a good evening. However, when Momma has had a bad day, the evening will follow. I find this to be true...so much rides on our desire to seek the Lord and his peace every moment of EVERY day. I thank God for his power that heals my soul and provides me the strength I need to hold my tongue, to homeschool my children, to cook meals to nurish my family, and the health and mind to be able to share with others his very living presence in our life.
LESLEY B 08/12/2009 13:07:48
I cant tell you how this reminder has touched my heart. I'm such an imperfect mother, sometimes I wonder why God gave me such wonderful children. I've set a "bad" tone on so many occasions. The scriptures giving in the focus are going to hang in our class, as a reminder that these little children are not really mine at all ....they are HIS, I've been intrusted to teach them HIS ways.....I am strengthed by this....I pray.... GOD will work me into what my/HIS kids need.
ERIN B 08/11/2010 06:12:12
Last night, my husband and my "little tiff" escalated into one of our rare fights. He opted to sleep on the couch. I awoke this morning extremely cross. I just happened to open this devotional to start my day. Wow. Talk about hitting the nail on the head! Thank you for this reminder. I have prayed and am now headed upstairs to make peace with my spouse.
JULIE J 08/14/2010 11:40:19
Thank you for your mention of constantly submitting yourself leading to the other's continued bad behavior. This is especially true if you are in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship, which I am. I am just now learning about standing up for myself and my children and saying, "This is not acceptable". It is so hard. I need God's grace every minute.
I appreciate your thoughts, but sometimes Daddy coming home from a bad day at work can be extremely toxic and dangerous, and set the whole family on edge for the whole day. When Daddy comes home and yells and cusses and throws things, well, there's not much Mom can do to "undo" that. At least I haven't figured it out yet.
KATHY L 08/11/2011 05:21:24
Julie - We are praying for you. Can you get your elders in your church to help? I know that is a BIG step but I have learned that is the biblical way. Keep praying. we will too.
LYNN U 08/11/2011 05:23:34
Wow. I am always amazed at how many different perspectives we come from on the same issue. In my home, I have one that just wakes up GRUMPY and can start a snowball of strife in the entire home. I have been working so hard to refocus him and the entire clan each day. It is challenging and wearisome at times and it even makes ME grumpy some days! "Lord, please be with us each day and guide us back with your words into kindness, gentleness, self-control, love, joy, peace, patience... And be with those who feel at the mercy of a husband's mood. Find a way, Lord, please provide a path."
DENISE R 08/11/2011 06:31:07
Needed this so much this morning..Thank you... the thing I want the most is to edify my husband and children...and so often I let Satan get in their and my tongue is used for evil instead of good...Lord help me today! Thanks again - gotta go help my kids...:)
LORENE T 08/11/2011 07:21:26
I love this devotional page! I live in a very isolated situation for homeschooling and having these daily devotionals and coments really help me redirect and focus daily. It is also reasuring to know that my experiences are pretty much the same as other homeschoolers.
ASHLEY M 08/11/2011 11:30:55
I have felt the effects of marital strife on our homeschool, and it does drastically alter my mood. Lately, though, I have noticed another way that stife has entered, and that is through my relationship with other women. I have been feeling a little rejected by a few friends who seem to prefer eachother\'s company over my own, and it hurts terribly. I have pondered why this could be, and it has really made me question iwhat I have done wrong, or if something is wrong with me. However, I have come to realize the effect of this type of analyzing, and it takes my focus away from my children, and puts it on myself. I find my thoughts drifting again to this situation and my hurt feelings over and over again, and I realize now that this is another way Satan uses strife in our lives, to take our focus off of God and on ourselves and our problems. We must be careful to take these thoughts captive to the Lord before they grow out of proportion and control us.
GINA L 08/15/2011 15:20:27
I have been married for 6 years and have three boys, 5, 4, and 2 and a half. my husband has a mental handicap. we both go to church, have family devoltions, i lead him but work to get him to lead, just been dismissed from the court of my crime against my husband. From a past of bitterness and anger. I have been hurt physiscally, verbally, emotionally, from family, boyfriends(\"christians\"), many said it was my fault, or i should of listen to God, or read my BIble more and it would of Never happened! Friends i want to say that ulimatley God is the controller, and He allows anything to happen for his Wil. Romans 8:26,\" And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God to them who are the called according to His purpose! I admit my bad choices, and ect. but I thank God thank God for Who He is and what He can do in my Life. Woman have a place in the atmospher of the homes, and to their husbands and children, I work daily on this, pray, attend church faithfully, no matter how tired, pain, or ect- I GO! and I pray and recieve counsol, \"in the multitude of safety their is Counsol proverbs. Friends we have a spiritual war, and Satan knows if he can get the wives, he won! Prayer works! just meant my nieghbor never went to church, her husband cheated on her and he is packing and leaving today. Sad their boy is crying daddy, come back Daddy come back!!! How sad, just cried for her and Hugged her, invited her to my house for dinner and gave her an invitation to Vaction Bible school! God needs us woman and we need to lift one another in prayer! Thankyou for the reminder, Bible is the Key may God help us to listen to Him and may God help us to Pray for each other and help each other!
SANDRA S 08/17/2011 21:15:21
Extremely timely for me. I\'m struggling terribly right now. I asked my husband to help get my daughter motivated, and rather than support me, he decided that the oldest (of 4 brilliant children) is going to public school, saying he wasn\'t for home schooling. Naturally, it caused dissention. That was Friday. On Monday, he was true to his word. I know the whole thing has caused division and strife in our family. I can\'t fix the things were said or what was done in their hearts, so please pray for them!
BRANDY N 08/22/2011 06:37:14
Homeschooling is difficult with teens.( I pray God you\'ll be the controlling force in the Sandra S family). weve all been there in different ways girl. this is an older daily focus but today i felt God in it just as much as the day it was posted. I have learned in my family...Pray and hold onto our SAVIOR, the strength He left here for us is sufficient.
SHELLY W 08/11/2012 04:58:12
I feel so defeated today! I had a meltdown yesterday when I had got to the last straw with my teenage daughter. She\'s been through quite a bit, but her attitude over the last few months has just been horrible. She doesn\'t talk back or anything, just quietly defies me at every turn, when I ground her, she goes to her room and disobeys... I need to be strong, but right now I am scraping the bottom of the barrel!! Please pray for us...
MAHLERIE S 08/11/2012 05:32:09
I am Janets biggest fan, and man this is why, I needed to hear this today. My husband and I have been arguing so much lately over stupid things and i have been the \"Foolish mother\" been short with the kids and lazy when it comes to schooling due to being upset. aia needed to hear this message and thank god for using Janet and his tool to get this message to us homeschoolong parents.
Laurie P 08/11/2012 05:35:43
I believe, in the bible, it tells a women to be submissive to her husband in a way that is PLEASING to the Lord. Abuse of any kind surely is not pleasing to the Lord. I pray that women will find peace from their abusers and know that being submissive does not allow a man to have full rein over your life. In Jesus I pray......Amen
KATHY S 08/11/2012 08:04:52
Please, do not feel bad about your friends.
I had a friend, a very dear Christian lady for about 8 years. All of a sudden, she just stopped returning calls, was never available, and I too questioned WHY????
About a few weeks ago, I saw something on the internet, I can\'t remember where, maybe here, that said:
\"If God takes someone out of your life, there is a reason for it and let it be\". Or pretty close to that.
So finally, after about 8 months of saying \"what did I do, did I offend, Etc.
I have just told my self that the Lord must be keeping us apart for some reason unknown to me. Maybe my friend is depressed and I wouldn\'t be able to help. Or maybe she\'s finding that husband she\'s been wanting for years and that\'s consuming her time (she\'s a widow).
Whatever the reason, I have stopped blaming/questioning myself. Please try and do the same Ashley. I\'m sure you are a wonderful person who God is either protecting from others who maybe are not worthy of your friendship at this time. God will either fix them and bring them back, or bring you new friends in their place. Whichever he does, his decision will be the best, and you will have Peace. May Jesus be with you always.
LESA A 08/11/2012 17:55:28
Lesa A l have a teen who know,s everything about everything and this is my first year homeschooling and i pray every day and im a single mom so thes comments really help.
Jody F 08/11/2012 19:39:19
Thank you so much for this devotion as I know I am guilty of this also. It doesn\'t take much to change the the mood of a homeschooling day, and it sure doesn\'t please Him when we do this. I am really going to try with the help of the Holy Spirit to let this kind of day be very, very few.
YVONNE T 08/12/2012 15:32:52
Thank you so much for this post. It\'s exactly what I needed to hear today. My husband and I spent a couple hours unpacking the reasons why we\'re having strife right now. We now know what we need to do to fix it. What a blessing!
Renee Laporte 08/12/2013 16:14:25
Wow! I am so thankful for this devotion! This has been happening a lot in my house between my husband and I. It seems like the enemy does whatever he can to divide us right before bed. We sleep in the same bed, but thinking evil thoughts of each other while falling asleep. Every morning, I try to have forgiveness, but I still have ill feelings when I see him. I'm praying this is resolved before I start homeschooling, which is this week. Yikes! Pray for me!